ayuni
Music: LVNDR
Hello
Assalamualaikum + Annyeong
Hello . Now is third day in March. I have to update my blog now. I am updating it now . School is hard . There was a lot of juniors that talked bad about me because I have always smiling and never look sad. Do they want me to look sad ? Do they want me to show it ? To show the real me that never have any smile ? To show my tears ? Okay then, I will show it to them. I will show them what is the real me that I have been hiding. The tears . The cry . They wet heart with tears . The hurt heart with their bad talked.
Actually, I don't want to talk about this at my blog. My heart still hurts because of them. They are my juniors but they still pretend like it isn't and keep badmouthing me. People, I'm hurt. People, I'm crying now. Alone in my room. Only me. They doesn't know my real life. Do you want to know ? My real life ? The tears ? I will show it to you .
Monday - I am sleeping because I am tired of waking up at 6 a.m and go to school even I'm already awake at 1 a.m to start my revision. I woke up because my father asked me to take care of the washed clothes. I walked out from my room and sat to take care of it. Suddenly my sister lied in front of me and it is hard to finished the work. I asked her nicely to move when she suddenly screamed at me and said, it is her place. Girl, I am half awake and I am tired why do you want to make me angry ? I yelled back at her and then my father mad at me. It is my fault at the end ? Okay .
Tuesday - I make a silent protest to my father. I keep on my silent treatment when my father suddenly burst at me and mad at me. I kept my mouth silent when I heard my mom mad at me too. In my heart, it is just, mom you don't even there when it happened so don't pretend like you're there. I'm sorry if you said that I'm an unrespective child but I don't know why my heart felt like it has been soaked with my hidden tears. The tears in my heart. I keep on telling myself to not crying and it's only for a few days. I'm sorry to my heart. It keeps on been stabbed with sharp pain. I'm sorry I can't protect you.
Wednesday - I saw him. My history. Then, my heart felt the same. Been stabbed with sharp pain and soaked with wet tears. It doesn't meant anything to me now because I've been used to it. But why does it felt hurts more than anything else ? Maybe because I'm the one that asked him to keep pour distance . It's true that it hurts when you're the one that started the pain. I'm sorry that I asked you to do it but, in the future you will say, thank you for asking me to keep our distance far and to forget you to me. You will say thanks to me and will smiled at me with someone else. I just wanted you to be happy. Bye
I'm a girl that hiding inside a world that full of acts. All that I've been showing was an act. It started with my smile then it ended with tears. People judge me for what I've been showing not what I've been hiding. They talked bad about me when they don't even know me. They told the others and in the end, all of the world said about my bad. Don't they knew I've feelings ? I'm a human. Not an alien. They knew this quote, " Don't judge the book by its cover " but still they judge me by my act. Hey, you know what, I'm okay.
What are you doing there ? Can’t you feel me looking at you? Looking at you blankly . Say things you want to say tomorrow . Say you are sorry tomorrow . Where are you looking at? You should be here{ 0 comments }